Fear For You
by Ink Runs Through My Veins
Summary: It's been a month and two weeks since the concours ended. And my life has gone from wonderful to terrible. I no longer crave the company of anything related to music and I shy away from all men. Will I eventually find someone to help me heal? Or will this thing growing in my stomach make me loose all my remaining sanity? Oh God, why did you betray me so? Rated M for rape.
1. Chapter 1

Fear For You**  
**By Sacred Silver Goddess

Just to make it clear, this is the anime at the end of the first season, but the second season hasn't started yet.**  
**

I don't own La Corda D'oro

Chapter 1: To Continue Like This?

Kahoko Hino

_Running._**  
**

_Running away._**  
**

_Running away to no light._**  
**

_Running away, only to end up back where I started._**  
**

_His cruel face._**  
**

_The harsh laughter that rings in my ears._**  
**

_The face that will forever to haunt me._**  
**

**"**_NO!" _

**"**Kahoko!"**  
**

I practically fell out of bed at the sound of her voice startling me out of my dreams. "Yeah Mom?"**  
**

She bit her lips and I immediately felt guilty. I had caused those lines of stress on her forehead. I had caused every one of those wrinkles, the gray hairs. It had all been my fault.

All because of him.**  
**

**"**Do you really want to go to school today?" Her voice, again, snapped me out of my reverie. "I mean, we could just hold it off for a while. I could call the director and we could-"**  
**

**"**Yeah." I shook my head. "I'm sure. I'll just have Mia and Nao walk home with me, if thats what you're really worried about."

The anxiety seemed to disappear from her face as she relaxed at my words. "Alright then. You will want to hurry though. School starts soon."**  
**

I nodded. "Okay. Have a nice day."**  
**

She nodded too. "You too. I'll see you tonight." And she closed the door behind her, leaving me with my thoughts.**  
**

Go on with a normal day huh? Well, that'll never happen again.**  
**

Not after what happened two weeks ago.**  
**

...Has it already been two weeks since it happened? It feels like so much more though.**  
**

But I couldn't think like that. I had to stay positive for mom's sake.**  
**

For my sake.

**"**Kahoko!" "Hino-san!"**  
**

Startled, I turned around to see Nao and Mio running towards me, Amou-san running at their heels. They soon reached me and wrapped their arms around me. I sighed and relaxed into their embrace.

Only these three girls knew what actually happened. Only they, and some of the teachers, knew what happened to me. Only they knew the horrible truth.**  
**

They finally released me after I had been begging for air and we began to walk to the class when we hear another voice calling my name.**  
**

**"**Kaho-chan!"**  
**

I squeezed Amou-san's arm and she nodded sympathetically. She knew what I would have to deal with and I knew she would try and get me out of here as soon as possible. I turned around to face the music.**  
**

...Ugh, okay. That was the _**worst **_phrase I could have used. Especially in this situation.**  
**

Running like my friends had was Hihara-sempai. Walking calmly behind him were the rest of the music councour students. I winced as I saw them all walking towards me.

_Trying to smother me. _

_The scent of rotten food. _

_The way his hands gripped my-_**  
**

**"**Hino-san?" I snapped out of my daydream. They were all staring at me, looking at me expectantly.

_Waiting for me to scr-_**  
**

**"**Hino-san still isn't feeling well." Amou-san vouched for me. I almost sighed in relief. "Sorry, but we have to get to class. Hino-san needs to talk to her teacher about her absence." She nodded at them and tugged my arm towards the normal students building. "We'll talk to you guys later okay?"**  
**

Before they had a chance to reply we were off and running.

* * *

Later, we took our lunch under the trees near the bridge. It was then that my fate caught up to me.**  
**

Mia and Nao had to do a revision test for their last subject and Amou was getting something to drink from the vending machines. I was leaning against the tree trunk, just silently watching the students. I had forgotten how peaceful things here could be. I was about to close my eyes when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I snapped my head around to see Shimizu-kun. **  
**

_Burning. Burning. Everything was bur- _**  
**

**"**Kaho-sempai?"**  
**

I shook my head quickly. If there was any male that I would trust at this school it was Shimizu-kun. "I-I'm sorry Shimizu-kun. I...I've just been a little spacey is all. Don't worry."**  
**

He nodded slowly didn't speak. But I didn't mind. Shimizu-kun might have been slow, but his words were always meaningful. Especially to me.**  
**

Finally, he spoke. "Kaho-sempai?"**  
**

**"**Yes Shimizu-kun?" I took a sip of my milk.**  
**

**"**Why don't you have your violin today?"**  
**

I began to choke on my milk. Spluttering and coughing I searched frantically for a handkerchief until one was thrust into my face. I was choking too much to notice the owner of the handkerchief was until a voice said, "Man, you're always getting yourself into these situations huh?"**  
**

I widened my eyes and stopped coughing.**  
**

**"**_Stop! I beg you, please stop!"_**  
**

**"**_But why would I stop when I've only gotten started?"_**  
**

**"**Hino-san!" I heard Amou-san's voice, but I couldn't see her face.**  
**

_In. Out. In. Out. _

_Quickly and harshly. _

_Making me cry out in pain._**  
**

**"**_PLEASE STOP!"_**  
**

**"**Stop." I whimpered. Amou's eyes widened as she realized what was happening. I couldn't hear her exact words but after a few pushes and shoves, she managed to get the boys out of sight. She quietly walked back to me and made me put my head on her lap.

**"**Are they gone?" My voice was still only a whisper.**  
**

She nodded. "They won't come back for now. But Hino-san, are you going to live this way for the rest of your life?"**  
**

I shook my head. "Just until I find the strength to face my fears."**  
**

She frowned. "I wish it wasn't you. Everyday, I ask why it was you of all people."**  
**

**"**So do I, Amou-san. So do I."

* * *

I managed to avoid all of the wandering eyes of the music students. Hihara-sempai had come up to me a few times but I stuttered an excuse and quickly ran back to my classroom. I did the same thing with Fuyuumi-chan. Eventually, I was so tired of people coming up to me I ended up skipping P.E. and napping on the roof of the music building.**  
**

I knew it was a bad idea to go there, but I had many memories there and it was where I felt most peaceful. **  
**

I should have known. Peace never stays with me long. **  
**

**"**Hino-san? What are you doing here?"**  
**

_Cold. Odd how I felt so cold when everything was burning. _**  
**

_Hot and cold on my skin. The flesh of my back extremely cold. _**  
**

_Burning and freezing._**  
**

**"**Hino-san?" I turned to face Yunoki-sempai. His face was indifferent, but I could tell there was curiosity from his eyes. They sparkled mischievously. **  
**

I swallowed back the bile that rose in my throat. **  
**

_His eyes were glinted with humor._**  
**

_But I found no humor in my situation._**  
**

**"**Is there something troubling you Hino-san?"**  
**

Get a grip Kahoko! I shook my head. "N-Not at all Yunoki-sempai." Take deep breaths. Deep breaths. I told Amou-san where I would be and she's coming. She's coming. Deep breaths. "I-I just felt a little unwell is all. Its nothing to worry about." **  
**

He smirked. "Who said I was worried?"**  
**

I almost forgot. He has a hidden side of him, the 'evil' Yunoki. **  
**

I backed away slowly. He followed me at the same pace. Pretty soon I was backed up to the wall, his arms on either side of me. **  
**

His smirk grew. **  
**

**"**_NO! STOP PLEASE!"_**  
**

I started to tremble. He blanched a little and quickly removed his arms. I sank to the floor with relief.**  
**

**"**_STOP!" _**  
**

**"**Hino-san!" Amou-san! Thank goodness. She saw me rushed over to pull me up. "Are you okay? You didn't have any...attacks, did you?"**  
**

Attacks? It must have been an alias for my...situation. I nodded. "It faded as soon as you came. I'm alright now. Lets just...go back to class."**  
**

She nodded and held out her arm. I sighed and clutched it tightly.**  
**

Always a person I could trust.

* * *

Yunoki Azuma

Fear.**  
**

Several times, fear flashed through the eyes of Hino-san as I talked to her. **  
**

She knew that I was not a harmful person, and yet she still looked at me like I was the scariest thing she had ever seen. Every step I took towards her made her paler and paler until she looked like a corpse. The large circles under her eyes hadn't helped anything. And I could see the yellowish remains of large bruises on her face and around her neck.

Especially around her neck. **  
**

I shook my head.**  
**

I had seen the encounter with Shimizu-san and Tsuchiura-san. At first, she seemed fine with just Shimizu-san's presence. And yet, at the question of her violin, she choked on her drink. Why?**  
**

It was just so unusual for her to act like this. She was usually such a cheerful person and she was never shy. And yet lately, she sought only the company of her normal studies classmates with the exception of Tsuchiura-san. It seemed that she shied away from everything that mentioned music, including the music students. **  
**

What in the world could have happened for her to act like this?

* * *

Kahoko Hino

Still clutching Amou-san's arm, we quietly made our way off the music building roof. As soon as we exited the doorway I sighed in relief.**  
**

**"**You shouldn't have gone to the roof Hino-san." She quietly scolded me. "You know what your...attacks are caused by. Lets not try that again okay?"**  
**

I nodded weakly. "I'll try. I'm sorry you have to worry about me so much."**  
**

She shook her head. "It's fine."**  
**

**"**Hino?"**  
**

Ugh, not again. **  
**

I turned around. "Is something wrong Tsukimori-kun?"**  
**

He nodded. "Do you mind if I speak with you?" He glanced at my companion and grimaced. "Alone."**  
**

I shook my head. "Anything you say to me can be said to Amou-san."**  
**

He looked doubtful. "I don't know."**  
**

Amou-san shrugged. "I don't care if I hear something, but I can't leave Hino-san alone."**  
**

**"**And why not?"**  
**

She bit her lip and gestured to me. "I can only tell you if Hino-san says it's alright." I nodded. "You know how she was absent for a while?" He nodded. "It seems that she has frequent...attacks every once in awhile. I'm responsible for helping her."**  
**

**"**And you don't think I'm capable of helping out?" He sounded annoyed. **  
**

She rolled her eyes. "No, I don't. Forgive my opinions, but I don't believe that you are capable of handling this."**  
**

He was about to retort when I interrupted him. "Actually Amou-san, I feel a little better. I can handle this." She still looked doubtful. "If I feel ill, I'll run to you."**  
**

Her shoulder sank. "Alright." She said reluctantly. "I'll be outside." She turned to Tsukimori-kun. "If I hear about anything happening to her while she's in your watch, I'll personality investigate you and spread your secrets all over the school. Got it?"

He quickly nodded. She seemed satisfied enough she she turned and patted me on the shoulder. This might have seemed like a friendly goodbye to most people but we knew differently. **  
**

She was telling me to be careful and control myself.**  
**

As soon as she was out of view Tsukimori-san sighed. "That girl scares me more than I'll admit."**  
**

I nodded. "She does seem like to a lot of people. But once you get to know her she's very kind."**  
**

He still looked doubtful. "If you say so. Anyway, the reason I called you over is because I just got word that Ishkander Ivohi is coming to town."**  
**

**"**That famous violinist who performs for Queen Elizabeth?"**  
**

He nodded. "He's a friend of my fathers and he is looking for students and I recommended your name. You said you were looking for a teacher right?"**  
**

Oh no.**  
**

_Harsh laughter ringing in my ears._**  
**

**"**_Scream. Scream for me."_**  
**

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to accept."**  
**

**"**But why not? It's a wonderful opportunity."**  
**

**"**_Scream my name."_**  
**

**"**_No. No please stop."_**  
**

**"**I've realized recently that I hate music."**  
**

He blanched. "Hate...music?"**  
**

I nodded. "The violin in particular." He winced and it took everything I had to tell him I was lying. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me for wasting your time." I turned and started walking away.

**"**Wait!" He gripped my wrist and pulled me back.**  
**

**"**_You're not going anywhere."_

**"**_NO!"_**  
**

**"**STOP!"**  
**

He let go out of shock and I took my opportunity to run to the door.**  
**

**"**Hino!"**  
**

**"**Please leave me alone!"**  
**

I made the mistake of turning back to look at his face.**  
**

Heartbroken.**  
**

Just like I am.

* * *

Len Tsukimori

Her hand was...trembling as I held it.**  
**

Her small wrist gave off tiny shivers as my hand closed around it.**  
**

She had been acting strange lately, I won't deny it. But to hate music all of a sudden? **  
**

Something big must have happened. **  
**

And I was going to find out what that something was.

* * *

Kahoko Hino

I met Amou-san outside the door huffing.**  
**

**"**Hino-san? Are you okay?"

_His ugly face sneering at me._**  
**

**"**_Scream for me girly. Scream."_**  
**

The world around me went black.**  
**

**"**Hino-san!"

"Hino!"


	2. Chapter 2

Fear For You**  
**By Sacred Silver Goddess

Chapter 2: To Live In Hell

Kahoko Hino

Why was life so cruel to me?**  
**

I wanted to die and ask God why me? Why was I always the one who got hurt?**  
**

Why did everything have to happen to me?It was a long two weeks before I recognized a routine.**  
**

I would come to school with female friends.**  
**

I would avoid any, if all of the, music students. **  
**

If the second part failed, I would either make up an excuse to not talk to them or have a female friend with me while I talked and they would help me make up excuses to leave.**  
**

I would go home with female friends.**  
**

See the pattern?**  
**

But a week after my encounter with Tsukimori-kun, I began to get sick several times a day. And I don't mean regular sick. Sometimes I would have a fainting spell in the hallways or in the middle of class I would shoot up out of my seat and rush to the toilet. And when I convinced them I was fine, next class the same thing would happen. And I did it over and over again for a week until the teachers finally got fed up and made me go home one day. **  
**

I sighed as my mother pulled up in front of the school, her expression one of anxiety. **  
**

She quickly checked my forehead. "Are you alright? I've got us an appointment at the doctor's office in an hour."**  
**

**"**You didn't have to-"**  
**

**"**Of course I did honey. Now let's go."

* * *

Shame**  
**

Embarrassment.**  
**

Denial.**  
**

Those are the feelings I felt when the doctors told me the outcome of my tests the next day.**  
**

He told me he ran a few tests because he wasn't sure if I had a major illness or not. He did many tests, but only one came out positive.**  
**

The pregnancy tests.**  
**

I was a month pregnant with a baby.**  
**

The baby of a monster.**  
**

I began to sob right then and there. **  
**

Mom didn't say anything as she held me close while I sobbed on her blouse.I couldn't look at my mother or my siblings. I was too ashamed. Onee-san hugged me silently and Onii-san patted my hand. **  
**

**"**Well?" Onee-san was the the first one to speak. "What's going to happen?"**  
**

**"**That depends." Mom replied. "Kahoko, do you want to keep-"**  
**

**"**No way in hell." I whispered bitterly. "No way in hell am I keeping that monsters baby."**  
**

She nodded in understanding. "I thought you might feel that way, so I arranged for an operation to have it removed." **  
**

**"**An abortion?"**  
**

She nodded. "It's in two months. You can wait that long, can't you dear?"**  
**

**"**Of course I can!" I shouted. "If I have to wait for months I'll do it! I just...need this as soon as possible!

* * *

"It was agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone about this. I would only tell my closest friend at school and right now, that was Amou-san. Mia and Nao were my best friends, but I didn't know how they would react to this. Amou-san had proven herself by keeping my secret. I knew I could tell her anything.

Her reaction was what I expected. Shock. **  
**

But she held no disgust in her words. Only comfort.**  
**

**"**How along are you?" She whispered as she held me close, me crying my eyes out on her shoulder.**  
**

**"**A-A month." I sniffed. "The d-doctor says I can't have t-the abortion yet because his schedule is s-so filled up. Mom's l-looking for another doctor, b-but we trust him. He didn't t-tell the media who I was, only what h-happened to me."**  
**

She nodded. "I would trust him too." She let go of me to put her hands on my shoulders and make me look in her eyes. "I'll help you in any way possible. I promise. You can trust me you know."**  
**

I nodded. "I know. I-I can't tell Mia or Nao about this because I don't know how they'll react." I sniffed again. "You-you can keep a secret. Its w-why I trust you."**  
**

She nodded again and gave me another tissue for me to blow my nose into. We were silent for a minute, letting the calm of the afternoon on the normal building roof slowly surround us, before she broke it with a suggestion. **  
**

**"**You know...it might not be a bad idea to tell the concour participants what happened." I stopped sniffing for a minute. She took the opportunity to continue.

"Its not like they don't know who you are. What happened wasn't your fault. And they were your friends even before the...incident."**  
**

I shook my head. "T-They wouldn't understand. I-I don't want them to look at me like they have to pity me."**  
**

**"**They would do that."**  
**

**"**Yes they would."**  
**

Amou-san sighed. "At least think about it?"**  
**

I nodded and rubbed my eyes. She glanced at her watch and started to pack our lunch.**  
**

**"**We better get going. The break is about to end soon."

* * *

Later, I managed to convince Amou-san that I just wanted a bit of peace to think. She reluctantly left me in a music practice room, making me promise to stay there until she came and got me after her club meeting. I agreed and she eventually left.**  
**

I looked around. It was my favorite practice room because it had the best view. I loved to play the violin and just watch the sunset from the windows.**  
**

And now I can't even be in here without feeling a craving for playing the violin.**  
**

I made my decision after a few minutes of being in that room. I had to get out of here.**  
**

Unfortunately, one Tsukimori Len wasn't about to let me. **  
**

Before I knew he entered he slammed the door shut and grabbed me, covering my mouth with his hand and holding my body to his.**  
**

**"**_Let go of me! Please let go!"_**  
**

I began to tremble at the terrible memory. But then I heard her voice.**  
**

**"**Tsukimori-san! I just need you to answer a few questions about your mom!" It was Amou-san. I assumed she was looking for him and he was hiding.**  
**

I still trembled as my body began to remember that day.

That horrible horrible moment when my good dreams were taken from me.**  
**

We heard the exit door shut and he immediately released me. I sank to the ground in relief. **  
**

**"**Hino?" **  
**

I had forgotten he was there. "Ah! Tsukimori-kun. Why are you hiding?"**  
**

He sighed. "Unfortunately, my mother sent out a new album and it's amazingly popular. Amou and the Journalism Club have been hounding me for days because of it." That sounded like Amou-san. When it came to a story she was writing she was ruthless and devious. He suddenly turned to me, as if he had remembered something. "Why are you here?"**  
**

I stood up. "What?"**  
**

He suddenly glared at me. "Why are you here, in a music practice room, if you told me only hours ago that you hate it? Isn't that contradicting yourself?"**  
**

**"**Ah." So that's what it was. "I guess you misunderstood me then. I don't hate music. Music hates me."**  
**

He looked confused. "How does music hate you? In fact, how can music hate anything?"**  
**

I giggled. "As if you would be able to understand." My voice became harsh and bitter. "Music loves you, it comes naturally to you. But nowadays, when I pick up my violin, everything just feels so wrong. Like it's mocking me, telling me it knows its beautiful when I feel I'm not." I shook my head. "Personally, I feel you're lucky. You still have the passion and drive to play the beautiful instrument we call the violin." I shrugged and picked up my bag lying on a chair near the door. "Good luck in your next music competition. I hear you'll be performing one of the most difficult pieces known to man."**  
**

**"**How did you hear about that?"**  
**

I winked at him. "Amou-san has very good ears." And I walked out the door, trying to forget how my body was still shivering at the closeness I felt with him.

* * *

Len Tsukimori

I have to admit, I was surprised when Amou called us to Kanazawa-sensei's classroom one evening about four days after Hino fainted. I wasn't going to go, but when she mentioned it was about how Hino had acted I knew I had to attend. She was sitting on Kanazawa-sensei's desk while the rest of us were gathered around her, sitting in the college style lecture hall. **  
**

Once everyone was here, she started to talk.

"As you know," She began. "Hino-san was absent for two weeks. Does anyone know why?"**  
**

Yunoki-sempai raised his hand. "Wasn't it because she had some sort of illness?"**  
**

She rolled her eyes. "And what was this _**illness **_that she had?"**  
**

He narrowed his eyes in thought before answering. "Actually, they never said anything. Just that she had some sort of illness."**  
**

She nodded. "And that's why you guys are here; to hear the _**real **_story of her illness. Or fake illness."**  
**

**"**Fake illness?" Hihara-sempai asked. "What do you mean?"**  
**

**"**It means that she was never sick. Now, I need to swear this room to secrecy. Not a word out of my mouth will be leaving this room, got it? Anybody who spills will have to deal with me. And believe me when I say I have _**very **_good dirt on _**all of you**_." There was something about her voice that kept even Kanazawa-sensei from protesting. "Good. About a month ago, she was...well, she was walking home from her new job at a music store. She said she hadn't noticed it was getting late and by the time she realized she was off duty, it was night. So to not miss her family dinner because her older brother was back from abroad, she took a short-cut. And that's when it happened." She drew in a shaky breath. "A man came out of nowhere and covered her mouth with his hands. She-" Amou-san choked off, as if everything was almost too much to bare. "He...was caught in the...act by the police and they managed to catch him, but it was too late. By the time they caught up to them he had already..."**  
**

**"**You mean she was raped?" Kanazawa-sensei asked, clearly as shocked as everyone felt.**  
**

Amou-san nodded. "And she hasn't been able to get rid of her mental scars yet. It seems that she blames her job as a musician on the...incident and she hasn't listened to music since. She won't touch her CD player and I know for a fact she put her violin in the back of her closet. She also isn't able to be near any males without breaking out into a sweat or having flashbacks about that night. It's why she avoids everyone in this room except for myself."**  
**

I heard Fuyuumi-san cry out and Shimizu-san comfort her. Hihara-sempai was strangely silent, as was Tsuchiura. I could see them both clutching their fists, but I wasn't any better.**  
**

It all made sense now. How she would pale every time she came near us, how she would tremble every time I held her wrist. I felt so ashamed that I thought her a traitor when she confessed to hating music. And now it all makes sense.**  
**

**"**Why did you tell them?"**  
**

We all turned to see Hino at the doorway, looking...betrayed.

* * *

Azuma Yunoki

While I was shocked about Hino-san's pregnancy, what really shocked me was the fact that she barged into the meeting, stomped over to Amou-san and slapped her.**  
**

**"**I can't believe you!" She shouted, tears streaming down her face. "I tell you my secrets and you tell them to others? What kind of a friend are you?"**  
**

**"**They had to know sometime." Amou-san protested, holding her swelling cheek. "If it wasn't from me, it would have been from someone else and they would have misunderstood."

"That doesn't mean you could tell the-" She suddenly cut herself off. **  
**

Tsuchiura-san suddenly stood up. "Hino? Are you okay."**  
**

She slowly shook her head and rushed out the door, Amou-san and Fuyuumi-san rushing behind her.

**"**What just happened?" Kazuki asked. **  
**

Kanazawa-sensei sighed. "It's part of the whole...pregnancy deal. She'll be getting sick a lot, and that means rushing out at the most random moments."We all winced at the sound of her stomach relieving itself.

* * *

Kahoko Hino

How could she? I trusted her. I told her everything. Why did she do it?**  
**

**"**Ugh, curse pregnancy." I thought as I puked outside the window, the closest place I could direct the contents of my stomach without making a mess. I hated the pain that came with doing this every day. But what else could I do?**  
**

As soon as my episode passed I sank to the floor, coughing and trying to remove the disgusting taste in my mouth. **  
**

**"**Kaho-sempai?" I looked up to see Fuyummi-chan kneeling, looking very worried.**  
**

_Help. Someone help, please!_**  
**

**"**_No one will help ya now girly."_**  
**

**"**Kaho-sempai?"**  
**

I shook my head and wobbly stood up.**  
**

I had to get away. Too many memories.


End file.
